大學(xué)里，你的室友可能你們來(lái)自不同的地方，有不同的生活理念，有不同生活方式，你們互相適應(yīng)得還好嗎?有沒(méi)有同學(xué)為如何和室友友好相處煩惱不已，會(huì)不會(huì)室友所做的有些事情令你煩惱不已，而你有不知道如何處理。今天我們就來(lái)說(shuō)說(shuō)在怎么解決和室友的生活沖突。

You will most likely have a least one time in your college career where your roommate will do something that either frustrates or upsets you, maybe even consistently. If you bring it up the first time it bothers you in an appropriate manner, the chances of the issue being resolved automatically increase a bunch! With that, here’s my take on how to deal with a roommate confrontation.

大學(xué)生活中，你很可能會(huì)遇到你室友所作所為令你煩惱或難過(guò)的情況，至少一次，也許甚至持續(xù)很多次。如果當(dāng)這些令你不滿的事情第一發(fā)生的時(shí)候你就用適當(dāng)?shù)姆绞教岢隹棺h，這些沖突被解決的幾率會(huì)大大增加。那么，我就來(lái)說(shuō)說(shuō)怎么與室友的“交鋒”。

FIRST, ASK NICELY

第一招：好商好量

If you go at them like you’re going to rip their head off, it’s probably gonna end badly. The first time you catch something that is bothersome, simply ask them to do it differently. Example – “Hey, can you put your dishes in the dishwasher next time you walk in the kitchen? That would really help me out when I’m cooking later!”

如果你去和他們談的時(shí)候氣勢(shì)洶洶、像是要去把人家頭揪下來(lái)的架勢(shì)，結(jié)果會(huì)很糟糕。煩心事第一次發(fā)生的時(shí)候，最簡(jiǎn)單的問(wèn)他們能否采取其他的方式。例如，“喂，你下次進(jìn)廚房的時(shí)候可不可以把你的盤(pán)子放在洗碗機(jī)里?那樣的話我一會(huì)做飯的時(shí)候就方便多啦!”

DON’T TAKE FOREVER TO DISCUSS YOUR CONCERNS

第二招：別讓擔(dān)憂無(wú)止境

Aka, don’t wait an entire semester to approach them with whatever is bothering you! It will be counterproductive to start up a new semester saying “So, last semester it drove me nuts when you never took out the trash…let’s work on that this semester.” They will undoubtedly ask you why you didn’t say something earlier.

即，不要等上整整一學(xué)期才告訴他們你有什么不滿!新學(xué)期伊始，“那個(gè)，上學(xué)期你從來(lái)不到垃圾，我都要瘋了，這學(xué)期改改吧。”這樣只會(huì)事與愿違。他們會(huì)毫不猶豫的問(wèn)你怎么不早點(diǎn)說(shuō)。

NOW, HAVE A SIT DOWN

第三招：坐下談?wù)?/p>

A calm one, at that. Just be like “Hey, can I talk to you about something really quick! It’s not a big deal, I just wanted to ask a favor of you!” Lay out exactly what you’re having a problem with and be clear in why it troubles you.

一次冷靜的談話，就這樣。好比“喂，我能和你談?wù)剢幔芸斓?也不是什么大事，我就是想問(wèn)你幫個(gè)忙!”告訴他們你的不滿并明確的告訴他們?yōu)槭裁茨菢訒?huì)使你心煩。

AVOID GOSSIPING TO OTHERS

第四招：勿要八卦

This one is a biggie. Just avoid this, because if your roomie catches wind that you’re talking about her “bad habits” or how “annoying she is,” then I can promise you absolutely nothing will get resolved. If anything, it will only make the tension between the two of you worse.

這可是個(gè)大事兒。反正就別做，因?yàn)槿绻闶矣巡讹L(fēng)捉影發(fā)現(xiàn)你正在大談她的“壞習(xí)慣”或是說(shuō)她有多討厭，我敢打包票什么問(wèn)題都解決不了。如果能改變什么，估計(jì)只是使你們倆的關(guān)系變得更緊張、更糟糕。

OFFER UP A SOLUTION AND SAY THANK YOU

第五招：我有解決辦法，謝謝你

Also very important. Don’t have a sit down without having a way to resolve the issue. If for some reason you can’t think of one, ask them for their thoughts or if there’s something you can do to help as well. Oh, and say thank you in regards to them being willing to sit down and hear you out! Thank you’s always make a big difference in the long run!

這點(diǎn)也很重要。如果你也沒(méi)有解決辦法，就別和室友坐下談。如果由于種種原因，你也想不出解決辦法，問(wèn)問(wèn)他們的想法，或者問(wèn)問(wèn)有什么你可以幫助的。哦，記得對(duì)他們?cè)敢庾隆⒙?tīng)你說(shuō)完表示謝謝。“謝謝”從長(zhǎng)遠(yuǎn)來(lái)看總是讓事情有所不同!

HIGHLIGHT THEIR STRENGTHS

第六招：記得別人的好

It sucks to have someone sit you down and tell you something you’re doing (whether intentionally or not) is bugging them to no end. After you talk about what is upsetting you, make sure to highlight something you appreciate about them or that they’re doing right…”Thanks for keeping the living room clear of your things after you’re done studying, but is there any way you could vacuum a little more often! It’ll lessen the load for us both!”

有人叫你坐下然后喋喋不休、沒(méi)完沒(méi)了的告訴你你所做的事情(不論故意與否)使他們很心煩，這是件很糟糕的事情。當(dāng)你敘述過(guò)了是你難過(guò)的事情，一定要強(qiáng)調(diào)一下你對(duì)他們所做的其他事情的欣賞與感激，或是表?yè)P(yáng)他們做的對(duì)的事情……“很感謝你在學(xué)習(xí)之后把客廳收拾得那么干凈，但是有沒(méi)有可能你能用吸塵器清掃得再經(jīng)常一點(diǎn)!這樣可以減輕我們倆的負(fù)擔(dān)!”

IF IT CONTINUES, APPROACH THE HOUSEHOLD (IF APPLICABLE)

第七招：如果還是不行，找其他房客(如果適用)

This is only if you live with more than one person. Because if something is affecting you, then it might be affecting the rest of your household too. Have a “house meeting” instead of a roommate meeting, and follow the same steps I discussed above!

這招只能在你和多人合住的時(shí)候才有用。因?yàn)槿绻承┦掠绊懩?，很有可能也影響了其他房客。既然和室友說(shuō)不通，取而代之，開(kāi)個(gè)“房客大會(huì)”，依然可以使用上述六招!