原題重現(xiàn)：

(2014/12/27)Young people today are more likely to help others than the young were in the past.

題目思路總體分析：

筆者選擇的觀點(diǎn)是不同意上述題目，即認(rèn)為“相比于過去的年輕人，現(xiàn)在的年輕人更不可能去幫助他人?！笔褂每偡挚偨Y(jié)構(gòu)，兩個理由分別是：現(xiàn)在年輕人空閑時間減少了，現(xiàn)在社會的競爭壓力增大了。

《托福官方指南》上對托福獨(dú)立寫作提出了三個大的標(biāo)準(zhǔn)，文章結(jié)構(gòu)(organization)，語言運(yùn)用(language use)和細(xì)節(jié)展開(development)，筆者想從這三個層面來分析下面的這篇文章：

一. 結(jié)構(gòu)分析

In contemporary society, there is a growing tendency that people are less and less concerned about others business(社會現(xiàn)象引入), which has aroused deeply social concern. Therefore, when it comes to the issue whether it becomes less likely for youngsters today to help others than their counterparts in the past(轉(zhuǎn)述題目), people varying in personalities and ages view the same issue from different angles. However, as far as I am concerned, young people today are less likely to help others than the young were in the past, due to the limited spare time they possessed and the fierce competition they are involved in(主題句：個人立場+概括論證段分論點(diǎn)).

開頭段結(jié)構(gòu)分析：

第一句，筆者描述一種與題目相關(guān)的社會現(xiàn)象，將其作為背景。第二句，通過雙方在題目上的爭議，引出題目。第三句，提出自己的觀點(diǎn)，并概括兩條理由。

To begin with, there is no denying that the less free time owned by the young people will reduce the likelihood that they help others, which particularly applies to the students in school(段首句：聯(lián)系分論點(diǎn)1和立場). As we know, the increasingly heavy study burden has dramatically decreased the leisure time of students(解釋句：解釋分論點(diǎn)如何支持立場). According to a survey conducted by Education Ministry of China, the time students spent on learning in 2014 was more than 8 hours per day, while this figure in 1994 was only 6 hours every day. The great difference in the two figures clearly demonstrate that student’s study time has increased a lot, which in turn decreased their free time. And less free time means that students have less chances to provide help to others.(論證句：通過數(shù)據(jù)段內(nèi)對比). Therefore, the decrease in the free time of young people has made it less possible to help others(總結(jié)句：轉(zhuǎn)述段首句).

論證段結(jié)構(gòu)分析一：

第一句，重述分論點(diǎn)一(時間少)和主論點(diǎn)。第二句，進(jìn)一步解釋分論點(diǎn)與主論點(diǎn)的關(guān)系。第三句到最后是數(shù)據(jù)類例證法，來證明時間少是如何讓年輕人不可能幫助別人。

Furthermore, the more fierce competition nowadays is another factor which makes young people less likely to help others(段首句：聯(lián)系分論點(diǎn)2和立場). One defining character of people is the degree to which they tend to care more about their own interests in a competition(解釋句：解釋分論點(diǎn)如何支持立場). Job hunting is a good case in point. Just imagine that there are 10 candidates competing for one position, which means that the winner has to outcompete the others. Obviously, each candidate would regard others as his enemies instead of friends, thus providing no help for the other one. However, in the past, the competition was not so fierce as it is today. As a result, the youngsters treated others more friendly (論證句：例子/數(shù)據(jù)/說理). Thus, helping others is becoming less and less possible for young people today because of the more competitive environment.(總結(jié)句)

論證段結(jié)構(gòu)分析二：

第一句：重述分論點(diǎn)二(競爭激烈)和主論點(diǎn)。第二句，解釋競爭激烈如何導(dǎo)致幫助別人可能性減小。第三句到最后，用求職的例子進(jìn)行古今對比，來證明分論點(diǎn)。

Judging from what has been discussed above, we can draw the conclusion that young people today are less likely to assist others than they were in the past, on account of the limited leisure time they owned and the fierce competition they are involved(結(jié)尾段：重申主題 + 總結(jié)論據(jù))

結(jié)尾段結(jié)構(gòu)分析：

一句話重申主觀點(diǎn)，總結(jié)兩個分論點(diǎn)。

總體結(jié)構(gòu)總結(jié)如下：

第一段背景 +爭論+個人觀點(diǎn)總

第二段分論點(diǎn) 1 + 解釋句+例證 1 分

第三段分論點(diǎn) 2 + 解釋句+例證 2

第四段重申主論點(diǎn)+總結(jié)分論點(diǎn)總

二. 語言分析：(language use)

詞匯和句式：

通讀全文后，會發(fā)現(xiàn)全篇文章并沒有特別難的單詞，基本上全部是在大學(xué)6級詞匯，所以各位托友沒有必要再寫作中用一些生僻詞，只需要熟練應(yīng)用基礎(chǔ)詞匯就足夠。關(guān)于句式，全文主要用的句式結(jié)構(gòu)都是英語中最基本的定語從句，名詞性從句，狀語從句和非謂語動詞，所以大家要熟練應(yīng)用這些句式。詞匯和句式都不要求難，但是要求要多樣。

那么，什么叫做詞匯多樣性?

舉個例子來說，文章中“空閑時間”這個短語，筆者用了spare time, leisure time 和 free time，所以要多去積累同義短語。

什么叫做句式多樣?

文章中其實(shí)至少有五次提到了題目，但是筆者都用了不同的表達(dá)方式來表達(dá)，具體如下：

原題：Young people today are more likely to help others than the young were in the past.

改寫：

(1) …will reduce the likelihood that they help others

(2) …h(huán)as made it less possible to help others

(3) helping others is becoming less and less possible for young people today

要做到句式表達(dá)多樣，大家要訓(xùn)練一種能力，就是同義改寫能力，即能夠用不同的表達(dá)方式傳遞同一個意思。

三. 文章細(xì)節(jié)分析(development)

托福寫作最后一個非常重要的標(biāo)準(zhǔn)就是要有細(xì)節(jié)，主要體現(xiàn)在中間的論證段，本文中間兩段分別運(yùn)用數(shù)據(jù)例證法和一般性例證法，講述了較多的細(xì)節(jié)，所以這一點(diǎn)做得也不錯。

大總結(jié)：

一篇高分文章要具備以下幾點(diǎn)：

1) 全文結(jié)構(gòu)和段落結(jié)構(gòu)要非常清晰

2) 詞匯和句式不要求難，只要求多樣

3) 論證段要有足夠多的細(xì)節(jié)

以上就是對整篇文章的解讀，希望各位托友從中有所啟發(fā)。

更多信息請查看留學(xué)英語寫作